but i find myself here, watching chris martin and jay-z perform in the second performance of the night after JT and al green rocked it out together. we're apparently doing the 'white guy plus black guy equals peace on earth' thing.
figured it was worth a blog post.
i'll try this nymag-style and throw arbitary points up for my observations. there's no way in hell i'm busting out my calculator and tally them at the end though. so don't hold your breath for an overall point....
- timberlake is obama. everyone effing loves him. thanks mickey mouse club. +50
- only one shot of the BACK of boyzIImen. +10
- carrie underwood has a bedazzeled mic. bitch, who do you think you are? diamonds are reserved for dame whitney houston and lady aretha franklin. -5
- and bedazzeled legs. -2
- her lezebel guitarist. +10
- leann rimes. -1000
- bairam breaking out baklava for jhud. +50
- duffy = poor man's amy winehouse (thanks savage). +100
- and thinking she's a better singer than al green. -1000
- coldplay as a poor man's sgt. pepper's lonely heart's club band. +50
- mi-lor's bff performance. +1,000,00000000000
- "no air" getting robbed. and the fact that there's no "best song for a sytycd performance" category -50
- jhud. +40 the earrings. +10 gospel singers. -10 (personal issue) TEARS!!! +500
- nicole kidman being coked out and the first person to sit down post jhud's shutitdown performance. +20
- kevin jonas close up count: 1. (which he stole from stevie.)
- stevie's expression while being forced to perform with 11 year olds. no one told him?? +60
- not realizing i should have made this into a drinking game until 9:16 pm. -50
- CBS's sound team. jesus christ. -1000 (jobs)
- "lesbians go to hell!!" reaction from jobros to katy perry's fruity (too easy) performance. +5
- kanye rockin' the lionel richie hair cut from the "hello" video. +50
- the fact that "this will be...everlasting love" still reminds me of while you were sleeping. +20
- wtf is the difference between record of the year and song of the year if there's still an album of the year?? -500 for pure confusion.
- queen latifah. the end. +100
- love mia. hate the polka-diaper. +4500 for due date performance. -150 for diaper.
i'm too fired up to comment on this. i'd still like to think that ri could take him. he's 5'1" and she's never in anything but 6" gladiator boots, so at the very least she could literally kick his ass.
also, what if you were directing this show. and 5 mins before -- oh, hey, rework THE GRAMMYS to cut out the 5 performances these two were supposed to be in. i'd puke then quit.
so, boys, don't hit girls. it ruins a lot of people's lives.
PS WHY is john corbet doing voice-overs for applebees. i'm tired...
No comments:
Post a Comment