if every word i said could make you laugh...

christmas comes early!! my pal cass handed me a glorious present this morning: an announcement that i've been waiting for since 1995, perfectly wrapped up by john stamos and handed to me on a "how rude?!" platter. that's right, eager readers, full house is coming back! (for those of you who don't know...this blog is named after the show, so this is a VERY big deal for me. i bleed tanner blood.)

before i dive into how amazing this is going to be, let's all take a moment of silence for jodie sweetin's life.











ok, now that we've paid our respects -- i hope they work the meth addiction into the show. oh! this is a fun game. what else can we revive?

1. Donna Jo being fat and passing out at the gym because she's been feeding comet all her ham sandwiches trying to be anorexic for a day just so she can look hot at connie dimarco's pool party. and instead of eating ice pops (amazing), aunt becky tells her to eat "lean chicken without the skin" and other "i'm totally anorexic too and this is what my doctor told me i should eat, but i'll really teach you the best way to purge without anyone knowing as soon as these clowns leave the dinner table."
   
2. any episode with jurnee smollett.
3. colonel gladstone. we all know dave coulier will be onboard, and it will be even more classic to watch him have a fake successful comedy career the second time around when he's really not famous. having his dad show up at a vegas gig to tell him to cut. it. out. will be that much better.
4. the rippers. including all the 80's bitches with platinum blond hair, aqua net bangs, and leather mini-skirts who provided no value other than to "play" the tamborene and dance slightly better than zack morris (or a.c. slater for that matter...).
   
5. any episode with gail edwards.
6. TOMMY PAGE!! the stephanie/dj rivalry over whom he's in love with, since, you know, a celebrity of his stature would clearly make out with a 13 year old in her house with her dad two feet away. wait a minute, he's somehow less famous than the rest of the cast, so this shouldn't be a problem.
7. awkward references to dead pam. particularly in the form of 1981 home videos.
   

things i wouldn't mind cutting entirely:

1. the twins. their hijinks won't be as cute (sorry, you're right, they never were) now that they're 45. wait, are they the chubby twins on that disney channel show right now?? regardless, i hope they still have mushroom cuts wherever they are...
2. danny. UNLESS every time he enters a shot they cue the violins. in which case, i want him in every episode. otherwise, i'll take vicky solo. perhaps a widow? plus bob's got a mean comedy tour going -- i doubt he'd give up boston's comedy connection for this gig.
3. the beach boys. UNLESS they play sloop john b and are still breathing.
   
4. kimmy's feet.