My Leigh

until today, i've avoided miley cyrus because i felt...i felt it was something...I was supposed to do. i'm not 11. i'm not particularly into pop. i HATE people with lisps (despite being cast as the Pine Sol bitch in my girl bairam's made for tv movie). so all signs pointed away from mi mi.

though, in secret, i appreciated her naked photoshoots and the fact that her cell phone pics always "leaked" to the media. she's a slut in the making and i respect that. she's got moxie. and moxie goes a long way.

now, i've had to deal with a lot of peer pressure to hate her. my friends all do. and unlike your friends, my friends really are awesome. if they were drunk, i'd probably get in a car with them. because dying/getting mangled together would be better than awkwardly dealing with them in the hospital afterward.

but today, today i hold my head high with pride. i scream from atop my ikea desk "SEVEN THINGS I HATE ABOUT YOOOOOOOOOOOU!!!" i spent 99 cents on this bitch, and i've already listened to it at least 50 times, so that means it's paid for itself 75 times over.

ladies, gents, join me as we sing on high...

Pants Parade

guys, two days...TWO DAYS. it's been three long years of combing the interwebs, searching ABC family's weekly guide, tearing open each week's variety...waiting. patiently waiting. and in two short days -- Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2 will take the world by storm! andicannotfuckingwait!!!

everything from the tagline -- Laugh. Cry. Share the Pants. -- is pure gold. i'm a little stressed about seeing this in the theatre though, honestly. i might pee my pants, that's inevitable, and it's also something i can prepare for and deal with accordingly. but my main issue is that i can't fast forward through all of Carmen's scenes. i HATE carmen. she's so aggro puerto rican. it's racist, really. what? you couldnt cast a black chick, so you made the closest thing the angry one? it should have been alexis bledel's character, Lena. she's at least 30 and playing a 17 year old, so i'd be pretty pissed. sorry, alexis, you were my least favorite gilmore...even the grandmother was better than you.

but i'll deal with it. i'll sit through carmen singing guantanamera with a spatula in hand over and over again just to see who my girl bridget falls into bed with next. we left homegirl crying about the fact that she left soccer camp and therefore her one night stand. (ed. note - isn't that the worst feeling though? right after you break up with someone or leave your summer crush on some condom/syringe ridden beach in southern massachusetts, knowing that it could be months before you're getting laid again. that's why i like to vacation places i have to take a ferry to -- a few greyhounds later and you're taking the skipper below deck...)

so, if you need me during the next two days, i'll be at forcing my three closest friends (who would never be my friends in real life) to come to JCPenney with me to try on pair after pair of faded dungarees.